I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
