dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
