I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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