Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize