Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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