oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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