It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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