Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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