my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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