Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
