dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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