New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
