Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
