My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
