Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
