i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
