Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
