I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
