just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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