he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
