Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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