you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
