let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize