Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
