Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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