Just fell off a train. Bad.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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