Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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