The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
