saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
