so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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