I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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