She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
