So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
