My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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