Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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