This girl is more easily done than said...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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