Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
