She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
