if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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