I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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