Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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