ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
