were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
