what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
