i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
