This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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