i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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