she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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