How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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