yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
