Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize