morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm passing your future prison.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
