You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize