just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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