he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize