I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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